PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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