Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
