Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
