When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you would pick up someone in the library
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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