I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
