What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
