my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
