She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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