I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
