The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
