Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
