The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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