Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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