3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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