This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize