Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
