me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize