Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Randomize
