Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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