oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
