I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My penis needs a shock collar
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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