i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
