Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
