We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
