we're blogging at a bar
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
