Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
