So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize