oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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