i was born a porn star she said
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
