Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
