let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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