I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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