I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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