I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
