the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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