I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
