I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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