we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
