Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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