I wish I only lived at night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
