He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bring me that man meat
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
