Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
