just come out here and I will go home with you...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
