well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
worst night to have a conscience
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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