But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize