Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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