Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
