So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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