We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
