Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
