I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
