i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
