Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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