Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
