we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
