just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
