love makes seman taste better
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
