New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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