The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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