Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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