Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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