O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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