At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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