We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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