Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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