Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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