Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
