Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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