Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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