elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
honey bunches of taint.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
