I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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