I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
