My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
