we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
worst night to have a conscience
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
